WAYS OF DEFEATING GUILT
Depression would be incomplete without the basic foundation of guilt. If we dig deep enough we gain curiosity for the function of guilt. The writers, spiritual leaders, philosophers, psychologists have grappled forever with this question. What is the base of guilt? Does it evolve from the concept of "original sin"? Is it realistic in nature and helpful component of human interaction with others or nature? Or is it a "useless emotion" that humankind would be better off without, as suggested by some recent psychology writer?
When the maths of calculus developed, scientists found that they could readily sort and solve complex problems of acceleration and motion that were extremely difficult to handle using older methods. The cognitive theory has similarly provided us with a kind of "emotional calculus". It enables us to philosophically and psychologically resolve such questions.
Let's see what we can educate ourselves from cognitive approach.
1. I have done something I shouldn't have( or I have failed to do something that I should have) because my actions fall short of my moral standards and violate my concept of fairness.
2. This "bad behavior" shows that I am a bad person(or that i have an evi streak, or tainted character or a rotten core, etc.).
The "badness" of self is central to guilt. In the absence, the hurtful action leads to healthy feeling of remorse but not guilt. It involves introspection. Remorse or introspection stems from undistorted awareness that one has willfully and unnecessarily acted in a hurtful way toward oneself or other that violates personal ethical standards.
Remorse and introspection are aimed at behavior and it's improvement, whereas guilt is targeted toward the "self." Due to guilt you feel depression, shame and anxiety.
e.g.
1) Because of my "bad behavior," I am inferior and worthless(this interpretation leads to depression).
2) If others found out what I did, they would look down on me (this interpretation and cognition leads to shame).
3) I'm in danger of retaliation or punishment( anxiety-provoking thought).
Rather than self-loathing, labeling and personalizing one should attach a learning experience and set goals for it. Plan the action for goals and manage accordingly.
If you get into anger outbursts within your relationships, procrastinate, getting into unhealthy diet etc., rather than being in guilt, introspect and explore your self. Attach learning with it and plan goals to avoid same kind of rituals within your life. It will increase your intrinsic and extrinsic motivation and will not cause low moods. Reward pathways in the brain would be activated due to attainment of goals and one will better. Past is Past. We should always gain learning from the past memories and make our future better.
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